


i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole until there’s nothing left inside my soul

by goreds



Category: Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Genre: M/M, claude rains twirls because this is exactly the point of mr. smith goes to washington, frank capra rolls in his grave, reference to a suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22046266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goreds/pseuds/goreds
Summary: Joe Paine knows he's in love with Jeff Smith as soon as he sees him. It takes a long time for him to do anything about it. (And in the end, it's Jeff who actually does something, characteristically.)
Relationships: Jefferson Smith/Joseph Paine
Kudos: 4





	i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole until there’s nothing left inside my soul

When Joe Paine sits at that dinner and realizes with astonishment that young Jefferson Smith is the spitting image of his father, he is both stunned _and_ delighted.

Not just because he loved Jeff Smith’s father deeply and is happy that some of that beauty got passed down. But also because maybe, just maybe, he could get a second chance.

On that train ride to Washington, it becomes even clearer that Jeff Smith is exactly the spitting image of his father, not just in looks but also in temperament, spirit and ideals. Jeff talks about all his big ideas to clean up Washington, and Joe just smiles, trying to hide his sadness. _We’re going to eat you alive_ , he thinks. He wishes that wasn’t true, but he knows it is.

And on the Senate floor, when Jeff collapses, he hears Clarissa scream and resists the urge to do the same. Instead, he runs to the back chambers, grabs one of the guards’ guns and tries to end it, but is stopped. He finds himself running out onto the Senate floor and confessing his sins for all to hear, before glancing at the still unconscious Jeff and praying, _praying_ that he recovers and soon.

He’s sent to an asylum for evaluation thanks to his attempt, and while they don’t admit him, he’s forced to resign from the Senate, making Jeff Smith their state’s senior senator. So he goes home, back to that state, to an empty house and an empty heart, and spends his days drinking and hoping that Jeff comes back, and they can talk about what transpired that day in the Senate.

Joe Paine, average citizen, gets his chance.

Jeff Smith comes back home for a celebratory parade, in honor of his service and continued heroics. He’s considerably older (Washington does that to men) but still beautiful. Joe catches his eye during the parade, and Jeff leaps down from his car to clasp Joe’s hand and shake it eagerly.

“I’m so glad to see you’re alright, Mr. Paine,” he says in that folk boy accent.

“Yes, yes, dear boy. Just fine.” Joe knows he’s lying to Jeff in that moment, and that Jeff can see right through him.

“I’ll talk to you soon, after all this foo-fa-raw is over!” Jeff gives him a boyish wave before rejoining the parade.

Jeff surprises him the next morning when he knocks on the door of Joe’s large, empty house. Joe never bothered to fill it with a wife and children...or grandchildren, he supposes, at his age.

Jeff gapes at the house, before smiling widely at Joe.

“Mr. Paine, I--”

“Please, Senator Smith. No need for formality. You can call me Joe.”

“Well, then please call me Jeff. No need for formalities.” And Joe almost believes Jeff winks at him.

They sit in Joe’s study and talk over drinks, Jeff drinking coffee and Joe having his first scotch of the day. Jeff seems a little wary of Joe drinking so early, but he doesn’t actually say anything.

“So how’s Washington these days?” Joe doesn’t want to know, really, but he figures he should ask.

Jeff launches into a monologue about the bastards left in the Senate, and Clarissa, and how beautiful the Mall is getting, and Joe finds himself smiling and just letting Jeff’s still-there enthusiasm wash over him. He could listen to Jeff speak all the day long, he realizes.

And imagine, Joe was almost a part of silencing that wonderful voice for good.

Jeff smiles a little nervously. “Clarissa told me what you did for me after the fact. That was awfully noble of you.”

“One noble act amongst plenty of ignoble ones. It won’t get me into Heaven, but--”

“Oh, I don’t think you have to worry about that, Mr....ah, Joe.” Jeff gives a shy grin.

“You’re too kind.” Joe finishes off his drink, nervously. If he knew any better, Jeff was flirting with him. Once, Joe thought Jeff’s father was, but he was quite wrong about that. Probably wrong about this too.

But then Jeff rises from his chair and goes over to squat next to Joe. He takes the tumbler from Joe’s hand and smiles. “Freshen your drink?”

Joe doesn’t quite know what to say. “I...yes, of course.”

Jeff takes the glass and walks over to the bar...and pointedly fills it with water. Joe finds himself bursting into laughter. A move his father would not play, to be sure. The man loved to drink. And rant while doing so, about some pet issue. Jeff delivers the glass to Joe.

Joe takes a deep gulp, staring at Jeff the entire time. Jeff nearly twinkles back at him.

Joe finds himself standing, so short in front of Jeff’s towering self. “Come to take care of me, eh?”

“I’ve got to get back at some point, but...for now, yes. Senate’s on break. I heard you were puttering around in this house all by yourself from Mother. She doesn’t like it, and neither do I.”

“So, this visit wasn’t just pleasantries?”

“Well, not entirely.” The twinkle returns.

Joe keeps himself from standing on his toes to give Jefferson Smith a kiss, just like he kept himself from screaming when the young man collapsed in front of himself, the Senate, and most of the press pool.

Jeff does not hold himself back, because he never does. He swoops down and kisses Joe. Jeff was never one for propriety.

Joe lets himself get consumed by the kiss, although a tightness in his chest is forming. He doesn’t know what he’s doing in this moment, but it feels _wrong_. He doesn’t deserve this. He hasn’t earned Jeff’s love. He breaks away from the kiss, moving away from Jeff, quickly.

Jeff follows him. “What’s wrong, Joe?”

“This isn’t right. You, me...you should go home to Clarissa.”

“But I don’t want Clarissa. We broke it off a few months ago. She was more interested in Diz, anyhow. And I was...well.”

“Look, Jeff, I’ve always...been this way. You haven’t, and you aren’t, and besides, you don’t want to be with a miserable old man.”

“You’re only miserable because you choose to be, Joe.” Jeff says this softly, almost guiltily. But what does he have to be guilty about?

Joe and Jeff stare at each other for a moment, almost frozen in time. Joe wants to kiss Jeff and hold on forever and ever, until one of them breaks.

So he does, because he knows Jeff will never break. That’s what he loves about him. 


End file.
